King Cucumber

Here at the Onion, I like to walk the walk and not just write about food endeavors. Tariq’s contribution to the Onion featuring snacking in the third world left me thinking that it is a must that I showcase to all of my readers that we, at the Onion, are not just a bunch of health Nazis but actually practice what we preach, excluding the empty cartons of two pints of grass fed cow milk ice cream lying under my bed, of course! Oh dear now I am blushing with guilt.

Today I shall talk about the cucumber, a simple, watery vegetable snacked upon regularly in Pakistan. Being a practical vegetable hater, I can’t chant along a lot about this humble piece of green, but I do happen to gather through pure listening skills that one cucumber has about 4g of carbohydrates in it, which is all I REALLY know about the cucumber to be honest.

In the very hot scorching summers of Pakistan, freshly cut cucumbers sprinkled with spices make a great snack. Personally I like them sprinkled with just salt and pepper, because it reminds me of my mother and how she used to tiptoe in my room and leave a plate full of freshly vegetables and fruits by my side, when I used to be on the brink of life and death, studying for exams.

All you need to do is peel and cut a cucumber in long sticks, length-wise. Spinkle these pieces with salt and pepper, which is the way I prefer. However, sprinkling chaat masala is a great thirld world way of having them too. Like all masalas, I like to make my own chaat masala, but I don’t mind using the store brought Shaan chat masala every once in a while, as it doesn’t really force you to consume enough MSG to put a tiger to sleep in one sitting.You can buy Shan chat masala from any Indian/Pakistani grocery store. If you live in a small town and don’t have any such stores in your vicinity, you can always order it online! Do give the cucumbers a try!